When you read “Leadership and Self-Deception: getting out of the box” you experience a paradigm shift. You experience an improvement in the way you think and the way you perceive. The shift? Realizing that leadership is self-deceiving and betraying when you’re acting in, what The Abringer Institute calls, your “box.”
The book relies on one single concept: every person, male, female, young and old, has a natural human instinct to help humanity whether it’s helping an elderly woman cross the street, letting a car switch into your lane last minute, or allowing someone to have the last cookie. If, when faced with a situation, you don’t act on your initial helpful instinct, you begin justify your inaction.
Parenting is one of the most basic examples of inaction the book highlights. Pretend you have a child with your wife, and at three o’clock in the morning the baby wakes up crying. Your first helpful, humanitarian, compassionate instinct? Get up and help your child. After all, that is your baby, and you obviously do not want him to suffer.
But, many people will wait past that first instinct and, instead, employ inaction. They’ll begin to justify their inaction and ask “Why should I be the one, who has to work all day, to get up right now?” “I got up last night it’s her turn,” “What’s wrong with her; how come she’s not getting up?” Instead of helping your child, you create false realities and images for not only your wife, but for yourself.
I can definitely attest to having experienced the dependency of success in business and life on working outside your box first-hand.
Self-deception from your inactions and inabilities is the true cause of problems. Acting appropriately allows you to make wise and helpful decisions.
This is especially relevant in a work and leadership environment. A coworker or subordinate may need to complete a project before a deadline or contact a client who isn’t giving them the time of day. Their progress may halt if they reach a difficult situation that they can’t get out of. Now you, as their manager, have a choice. Either you help them or work from a place of inaction. If you chose the latter, you’ll refuse to assist them, even if its your area of expertise, because it’s “not your job.” But, that’s not where the adverse consequences of inaction end. You’ll also automatically apply negative characteristics to the subordinate or coworker you’re unwilling to help. The justification of your actions you’re fabricating in your mind may lead these characteristics to stay with that person.
Bottom line inaction prevents you from being successful, and prevents you from getting results or even having happiness in a marriage or a healthy relationship. It’s this self-betrayal when you start to justify your inaction because it leads to a form of self-deception. You’re focusing on the negative, the false reality you created, rather than accomplishing the desired goal and turning it into a positive.
You don’t have to be perfect. You just always have to try to do better, the book suggests.
Constantly redirect your focus on your own progress, on your own actions, on getting out of your own box, instead of using your focus to judge and ridicule others. Regardless of your goals, your daily energy and effort should be motivated by your personal growth. Simply put—ensure you’re staying out of your box, and the rest will fall easily in place.
When you develop that culture, you improve all of your relationships. The culture you surround yourself with becomes the coup d’etat of business culture where everyone is working diligently to move the company forward, move the team forward. With the camaraderie of teamwork which we have at inMark, people will always try to help other people regardless. It becomes part of your culture.
So, don’t look for boxes when they’re not there. Just always stay out of your box. It’s not about the individual. It’s all about the team and how you can help.
Tim Pucilowski is a sales manager at inMark media. He plays in integral role for our sales team and encourages positivity, productive mindset, and ultimately contributes to the, ‘Go-Getter’ mentality for his team. His attitude and delivery of results make him a great asset to inMark. Aside from being known as a hard worker, other inMark team members enjoy Tim’s great sense of humor, honesty, and proclaim he is ‘the most interesting man in the world’.